Thursday, August 6, 2009 by admin.

I’m going through some real struggles in my life right now.  My depression is really kicking my butt right now and I’m thirsty.  I don’t plan on picking up a drink, but the urge is definitely there.

I attended a meeting this morning and we read from “As Bill Sees It”, reading #199.  It talked about humility and its opposite arrogance.  I realize that I can be arrogant even when I’m down on myself.  Self deprecation is a form of negative pride — that I’m unworthy of love, even self-love.

I’ve been abstinent a long time, but that is not the same as sobriety.  Sobriety for me is being happy joyous and free — true peace of mind.  I feel that true sobriety (as I define it) is dependent upon a few “keystones” that are critical to the structure.  They are: humility, acceptance, and gratitude.

When I pray in the morning for humility I have a chance.  If instead I pray for strength I screw it up.  My addictive mind can twist that into a spot of ego and go wild with it.  Also when I fail, and I will fail in some manner as I’m human, I can use that failure as yet another way of bludgeoning myself.  If instead I pray for humility I don’t have to do anything.  There isn’t an expectation of success, just an expectation of being.

For acceptance I really need to read and reread the passage from AA Big Book begining on page 417 of the 4th edition (449 of the 3rd edition).

For gratitude I just need to practice it and keep a gratitude journal. I need that “attitude of gratitude”.

I hope and pray that you can have all 3 keystones today!

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

I’m sitting here working from home having a difficult time getting started and staying focused.  I’m going through some difficult times in my life and having a hard time staying focused.  As I wrote that I’m asking myself, “Am I really going through a difficult time, or am I making it difficult?”.  Well I think that I’m making it difficult.All that I need to do is to turn things over.  Surrender completely to the God of my understanding.  To let go of the burden of self.  When I do those things, difficulty slips away.  Don’t get me wrong: pain, sadness are still there, but no longer are they difficult.  They just are. They no longer entrap me, when I stay focused through willpower on the present moment.When I’m focused through willpower on the present moment, I’m committing to the reality of NOW.  Now is the only time there is.  Passion and motivation are activated by commitment so here goes…Thanks for reading all!

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#039: Acceptance
Acceptance is where I struggle in recovery. Also accepting myself as a path to forgiveness and love.
DATE: Sun, 06 Jul 2008 SIZE: 2.4 MB
Episode_039_Acceptance.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#038: Recovering know it all Part 2
Recovering know it all Part 2. What else can I ask myself in my spiritual journey?
DATE: Sun, 11 May 2008 SIZE: 2.2 MB

Episode_038_Recovering_Know_It_All_Part2.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#037: Courage
How I struggle with courage and my apparent lack of it.
DATE: Tue, 22 Apr 2008 SIZE:  2.5 MB
Episode_037_Courage.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#036: The eternity of now
What is the present moment? What can it mean to my sobriety and my surrender to God?
DATE: Fri, 28 Mar 2008 SIZE: 2.4 MB
Episode_036_Eternity_of_now.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#035: What is laughter?
What is laughter? How can this effect my recovery and life in general?  Quote taken from “The History of the Joke”, (c) 2008 The History Channel.
DATE: Mon, 3 Mar 2008 SIZE:  2.2 MB
Episode_035_What_is_laughter.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#034: Ten prayers God answers
What are the 10 prayers that God will always answer? Heard from the audiobook “The Ten Prayers God Always Answers” from Anthony DeStefano.
DATE: Wed, 13 Feb 2008 SIZE: 2.1 MB
Episode_034_Ten_prayers_God_answers.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#033: Garden of Success
How can this wonderful metaphor help me in my recovery? Heard from The Positive Mind podcast which can be found at: http://www.thepositivemind.com
DATE: Tue, 12 Feb 2008 SIZE: 1.6
Episode_033_Garden_of_Success.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#032: Hope
How can I combat my feelings of hopelessness? What can I do to seek help and healing?
DATE: Wed, 30 Jan 2008 SIZE: 4.1 MB
Episode_032_Hope.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#031: Grace
What does Grace mean?
DATE: Sun, 06 Jan 2008 SIZE: 2.5 MB
Episode_031_Grace.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#030: Knowing vs. Doing
What is the difference between knowing and doing?
DATE: Sun, 06 Jan 2008 SIZE: 2.1 MB
Episode_030_Knowing_vs_doing.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#029: Roadside Assistance
You have roadside assistance on the journey of life.
DATE: Thu, 23 Dec 2007 SIZE: 0.9 MB Listen
Episode_029_Roadside_assistance.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#028: Hierarchy of Sobriety
What is meant by sobriety, other than giving up that DRUG OF CHOICE?
DATE: Wed, 19 Dec 2007 SIZE: 2.4 MB
Episode_028_Hierarchy_of_Sobriety.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#027: Checking out
How do I check out of reality?
DATE: Wed, 12 Dec 2007 SIZE: 2.2 MB
Episode_027_Checking_out.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#026: Whumpa, whumpa, whumpa
How am I like a laundry machine?
DATE: Wed, 12 Dec 2007 SIZE: 1.4 MB
Episode_026_Whumpa_whumpa_whumpa.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#025: Who am I?
What is my true identity, and what does it entitle me to?
DATE: Wed, 12 Dec 2007 SIZE: 0.9 MB
Episode_025_Who_am_I.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#024: God Feels Far Away
What can I do when God feels far away?
DATE: Thu, 06 Dec 2007 SIZE: 1.6 MB
Episode_024_God_Feels_Far_Away.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#023: The Almond Joy Conundrum
Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.
DATE: Tue, 04 Dec 2007 SIZE: 2.6 MB
Episode_023_Almond_Joy_Conundrum.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#022: Gratitude
The impact gratitude has on my recovery and on my serenity.
DATE: Fri, 23 Nov 2007 SIZE: 1.6 MB
Episode_022_Gratitude.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#021: Working the program
How can I best work the program of recovery?
DATE: Wed, 21 Nov 2007 SIZE: 1.6 MB
Episode_021_Working_the_program.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#020: What’s In a Name?
What does my name mean? What about some other famous names?
DATE: Sun, 04 Nov 2007 SIZE: 3.3 MB
Episode_020_Whats_In_A_Name.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#019: Favorite Movies
What are my favorite movies? Is there a common theme? How can that apply to me in recovery?
DATE: Sun, 04 Nov 2007 SIZE: 2.5 MB
Episode_019_Favorite_Movies.mp3

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009 by admin.

#018: Say Good-bye and REALLY mean it!
What does GOOD-BYE really mean and how can it help us in recovery?
DATE: Sun, 04 Nov 2007 SIZE:  0.8 MB
Episode_018_Say_Good-bye.mp3

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Monday, July 27, 2009 by admin.

#017: String Theory
What do strings have to do with me? How can it be a helpful metaphor for recovery?
DATE: Sun, 04 Nov 2007 SIZE:  0.8 MB
Episode_017_String_Theory.mp3

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Monday, July 27, 2009 by admin.

#016: Good Posture
What is good posture in recovery and how can it help me?
DATE: Mon, 29 Oct 2007 SIZE:  1.6 MB
Episode_016_Good_Posture.mp3

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Monday, July 27, 2009 by admin.

#015: Unrequited Love  
Unrequited love is love that is not returned in kind.  How can this apply to me in recovery?  
DATE: Mon, 22 Oct 2007 SIZE:  1.7  MB
Episode_015_Unrequited_Love.mp3

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Monday, July 27, 2009 by admin.

#014: Silver Bullet
Is there a silver bullet?  Is there a panacea or magic elixir that will make my problems go away?
DATE: Thu, 18 Oct 2007 SIZE:  1.1 MB
Episode_014_Silver_Bullet.mp3

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Monday, July 27, 2009 by admin.

#013: Recovering Know It All
How can you recover from know-it-all-ism?  What 4 questions can you ask yourself?
DATE: Wed, 17 Oct 2007 SIZE: 2.5 MB
Episode_013_Recovering_Know_It_All.mp3

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Monday, July 27, 2009 by admin.

#012: Resentments
What are resentments, really? You spot it you got it!
DATE: Wed, 17 Oct 2007 SIZE:  2.6 MB
Episode_012_Resentment.mp3

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